Life With My 2 Boys

I never thought that the birth of my children would be controversial - to be honest I never realised that Elliotts had been the source of conversation until I was pregnant with Sam, when everyone suddenly felt as though their opinion on the mater should not only be heard but also be the ONLY opinion I should hold.

If you are wondering why their births were so controversial then here goes......"my name is Alice and I had an independent midwife"!!!! SHOCK HORROR, alert the press we went OUTSIDE of the NHS!

For anyone who is unsure, an independent midwife is effectively a private midwife employed directly by us and who looks after every aspect of our care from pregnancy up to 4 weeks after birth. If you are seeing a hospital consultant or going for scans etc your midwife can come along with you, if you wish. She is always on the end if the phone 24/7 and if you opt for a homebirth, as we did, she will deliver your baby and if you choose to give birth in a hospital she will be right by your side - This is very simplified so for more info check out http://www.independentmidwives.org.uk/

The first thing I should point out is that we are not wealthy, stepping outside the NHS for us wasn't a case of being "too good" for the NHS and in fact with my first pregnancy I didn't even know that independent midwives existed until I was 28 weeks pregnant and had reached breaking point!

From my very first appointment with my NHS midwife the simple homebirth I had hoped for seemed a unrealistic dream. I was asked which hospital I would like to give birth in, I replied that I would like to try to have a homebirth and was met with the reply "yes but lets be realistic, which hospital are you going to go to?" Things from this point seemed to spiral from my control, I was passed to consultant led care for being "high risk" and to this day I don't know really why. I was seen by a consultant, an anesthetist, 3 midwives and when I was diagnosed with SPD a physio and all of these people had differing opinions on my care during the birth but none of them were talking to each other and no-one was actually telling me what was the plan if things continued to go as they were - I was told everything from being high risk of a section and needing to have an epidural as soon as I went into labour like it or not to needing to be induced early - every time I asked a question I was told they would wait and see, which for an anxiety sufferer is NOT something I can cope with.

By the time I was 22 weeks we were looking at private hospitals, which we just couldn't afford and then at 28 weeks someone told me about independent midwives and I contacted Sally.

From that first conversation with her my stress elevated and we decided that she was the direction we wanted to go in and from the moment we made that decision we knew it had been the right one for US. By the time Elliott was born I felt relaxed, safe and secure and I got my homebirth! 7 hours 40 minutes, gas and air no hospital required!

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Following on from my previous post about getting a bit more pro-active on Elliott's boredom and behaviour I have been having a think and I am not the only mum that is in the same boat and so I think I am going to try and start my own version of  "The Gallery" ( http://stickyfingers1.blogspot.com/2010/02/photography-is-my-thing-my-love-my.html ) for fellow blogging mums to join in with each week to get all our mental juices flowing and in the process pass on some creativity to others to help keep the little ones entertained! This should also aid us all in spending a bit of quality time with our children/grandchildren etc no mater what their age

Whether it will work remains to be seen but it will only work if every one contributes and I REALLY hope you do.

The idea is this - I will set a "theme" each week (please feel free to make suggestions) and during the course of the week you need sit down with your kids and complete a creative project with them based on that theme - this can be in any format, be it paper, paint, sticking and gluing, cakes and bakes it doesn't mater what materials you choose to use as long as you create something with them. When you have take a picture, write about it and post it on your blog. You could write about what you made or why you made it or it could be instructional to recreate your project or even just about the experience of doing the activity with your children.

Then email your blog links to me on lifewithmy2boys@yahoo.co.uk and I will post a list of all the links on my blog the following week.

I think as it was the Sticky Fingers blog that inspired this idea and its all about possibly getting a bit messy with your children it seems appropriate to name it the "Sticky Fingers Challenge"

So I guess the first thing I need to do is set a theme for this week - As the sun is out and we are all baking hot I guess a summer theme is appropriate so how about "the beach"

I REALLY hope to get lots of emails and I will post all the links I receive next Wednesday and set next weeks them.

Good Luck everyone.....I need to go and get thinking!

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I knew the 6 weeks school holidays were going to be tough this year, being Elliott's first, but we are just into our second week and WOW it has been REALLY REALLY hard!

Elliott has taken to not having playschool extremely badly and this coupled with heat and the terrible 2's has made his behaviour go through the floor! We have had it all, throwing things, tantrums, biting, spitting, you name it - he has been delightful!

So this is why there haven't been any updates, its just taking so much to get through the day with him at the moment that I cant even think straight and by the time he goes to bed I'm out like a light myself.  Thursday night the cavalry will arrive for a couple of days in the shape of Nanny and Grandad so this will give me a chance to breath a little and work out a plan of action for the following week so that boredom and bad behaviour do not set in full time.

I did however get REALLY brave (or desperate) last week and take BOTH children on my own to the local shopping centre and cinema for the afternoon - I haven't braved this yet because of Elliott's habit of throwing tantrums and running away! I have to say that it actually went better than I dared imagine and I even braved only taking the single buggy!!!!! I carried Sam in the sling until we got there and Elliott fell asleep in the buggy on the way to the bus. When we arrived Elliott woke up and had a MASSIVE tantrum because as his eyes opened, before I even knew he was awake, his eyes had fallen upon a Buzz Lightyear bubble bath and he wanted it; trouble was he was kicking and screaming so loudly that I hadn't got a clue what it was he was after in the first place! I decided to just ignore the tantrum, he was strapped into the buggy, safe and not in a state to be reasoned with so I left him to it until he began to calm down. After that he was actually mainly good all afternoon; before he got out of the buggy and I put Sam in I explained to him the rules, that he had to be good, hold my hand (even though he was on reins) etc and he pretty much stuck to them with lots of encouragement a long the way - the only trouble was that I had to focus so much on Elliott that I felt Sam was ignored most of the time so defiantly going to take the rear facing buggy next time and squash Elliott in it if I have to put him in there.

The film we chose to see was Cars 2, Elliott REALLY enjoyed it as it was very action packed and loud making sure it grabbed his attention. I hadn't quite thought this one through though because I forgot that poor Sam only had little ears so kept covering them up during the noisy bits to protect them. It cost a small fortune to take them especially as I decided to get the "wider" "VIP" seats because of having the baby with me and needing to feed him during the film, we were at the Vue Cinema in Lakeside and small tip DON'T bother paying the extra money! They aren't that much wider and too close to the screen so it actually hurt my eyes.

So I guess the question at the moment is what are my plans. Well Elliott can not continue to behave the way he has been so this has to be nipped in the bud NOW before it becomes a bigger issue later. Plan A is to get his bedtime routine sorted and him in bed at a good hour every night, this will be happening as of next week and I will blog about the experience as well as explain why it is we have gotten to this point with him and also about his sleep disorder. Plan B is to establish a day time routine so that he knows what is happening everyday and therefore is a bit more secure. We are also going to be sorting out our garden so that he can go outside and play and I am going to be scouting around for some fun things we can do at home.

On the blogging front I also have some product reviews coming up -

The first is for Bambino Mio who have challenged us to use on reusable nappy a day for a week!

We will also be testing out a few products from the wonderful people over at Nuby as well as the possibility of a big review coming our way also so watch this space on that one!

At the moment in time BOTH my children are actually sleeping so I am going to take advantage and make myself the first cup of tea I have had today as well as tidy Elliotts bedroom and change his sheets; exciting stuff! LOL

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